That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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