C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
