I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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