woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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