i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
tell me about the eggs
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
