drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Your penis caused this!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
