And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize