Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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