can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
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He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
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Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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