Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
