So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize