I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize