I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
