your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize