Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
