Got a toothbrush?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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