you win again, gameday.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
