he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
