whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize