Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize