we have pet lesbian snakes
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
