Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
