I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Life without a bra equals bliss.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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