I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
