dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We were destined to go to rehab together
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
