K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize