He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
