Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
