So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
