we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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