I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
