I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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