drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
