I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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