Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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