yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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