I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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