Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
