If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
