Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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