look no pants
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
