Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize