oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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