We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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