Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
