i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
