is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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