Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel