? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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