I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Do vagina's smell?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
