dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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