Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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