I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
