dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
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i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
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I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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