Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
