is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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