At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
