from now on my penis is your penis
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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