Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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